English Has Come A Long, Long Way …

By | 18 August 2017

I typically marvel what would occur if Shakespeare had been to be transported in a time machine to our world right now. What would he suppose? How would he react?

Sure, Willie would most likely inform me "thou hast an excessive amount of time on thy arms in case you spendeth it questioning about such flights of fancy." However solely after he discovered his toes.

You see, Willie can be blown away by a few of the comforts we take with no consideration. For example, that field we stroll into. The doorways shut all by themselves … similar to magic. After they open, we’re magically in a distinct place.

"What calest thou this contraption?" Willie would ask in utter amazement.

An elevator. You’d suppose nothing would part a person who simply landed his time machine 400 years into the long run.

"Ah, I see. It was not magic in spite of everything. It elevated us, as a result of it’s an elevator."

This Willie man is fairly helpful together with his English, isn’t he? However that won’t get him far today. 100 years in the past, even fifty, he might have discovered nearly each new phrase by tracing its roots (typically to Greek or Latin). However not right now.

"What are these … these … these, issues?"

Why that's a TV, with a VCR and a DVD participant. Over there, it's a CD participant, an AM and FM radio and an amp. This can be a PC, with CDRW and floppy drives, a strong CPU, A and C drive, and extra RAM than a MAC.

"What? Thy alphabet seems a bit complicated."

As soon as upon a time, the that means of a phrase might at all times be guessed by merely tracing the entomology of the phrase again to its lowest roots.

"Thou meanest 'etymology', dost thou not? Entomology is the examine of bugs and bugs."

I knew that.

I took out a 'Kleenex' as a result of my nostril was operating.

"However how dost thy nostril run?"

I suppose the identical manner I drivest on a parkway and parkest within the driveway. Or the way it doesnt matter whether or not we fill in a kind or fill out a kind … both manner, the taxman will get the final snicker.

I supplied to take Willie for a trip.

"That’s extra prefer it. There may be nothing fairly like a horse beneath one's backside. '

No, no, no. We don’t trip horses anymore. That could be a barbaric strategy to deal with such majestic beasts. Now we drive vehicles … and kill the horses off with the exhaust.

"I do not know what you might be speaking about."

Simply have a seat within the BMW, Willie, whereas I activate the AC and rev up the RPMs on this previous V6. Earlier than you realize it, we'll be doing 100 mph down the 102.

"Extra letters and numbers. Have phrases change into redundant sooner or later?"

Just about. As life bought an increasing number of difficult, phrases bought an increasing number of difficult. Fairly quickly it was taking a number of minutes simply to pronounce a single authorities division. So actual phrase teams had to get replaced by acronyms – the primary letter of every phrase. Move me a CANDY.

"What does CANDY stand for?"

Sweet, really. However perhaps I ought to simply depart previous Willie guessing. In any case, there may be simply a lot to find on this courageous new world. Like why there are so few sundials round. And why some folks sleep on the road, whereas different climb 34 tales to an workplace tower above to sleep at their desks. And simply how do they shrink these liquor bottles for the airways.

"What’s an RSVP? And ASAP? And TLC?"

I needed to discover simply the appropriate strategy to clarify to him that each one these loopy letters really made some type of sense.

Inside Division of Revenue Overhaul Switch Methods.

"Ah, IDIOTS. Now, that I perceive!"

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